Whiskey Goes In, Wisdom Comes Out
Ever notice how everyone becomes a damn philosopher after a couple of whiskeys? That quiet guy in the corner suddenly has life figured out. Your buddy who can't remember where...
I'm Here Because You Broke Something
We all know that guy. The one you call when something breaks, stops working, starts leaking, or makes a noise that sounds expensive. He doesn't panic. He doesn't need to consult...
Karma Has a Waitlist
You ever look at someone who has done some seriously shitty things and think: “So... when does karma get here?” Because apparently, karma has a fucking waitlist. You do your...
Your Mom Was Right. Unfortunately.
There comes a point in adulthood when you realize your mother was right about a whole bunch of shit. And honestly? It's irritating. She told you to take a jacket....
Nobody Warned Us Menopause Came With a Whole Committee of Personalities
You thought you were getting a little temperature change. Maybe some sleepless nights. A few mood swings. Nope. Menopause apparently looked at your life and said: "You know what this needs?...
Not Everything Needs Your Opinion
Somewhere along the way, we decided that having an internet connection meant we were all required to become experts. Someone gets a divorce. Opinion. Someone changes their hair. Opinion. A...
We Drank From the Hose and Somehow Lived
Kids today have filtered water bottles that cost more than my first toolbox. We had a garden hose. Not a fancy hose. Not one with a filter. The green one...
Warning: Common Sense May Be Required
At some point, we decided the problem wasn't dumb decisions. The problem was that we weren't putting enough warning labels on things. Coffee is hot. Knives are sharp. Ladders are...
Why Beer Tastes Better After Mowing the Lawn
Happy Hour Philosophy There are some things in life that science can't explain. How your wife can find something in the refrigerator you looked at three times. Why every trip...
The Older I Get, The Less I Want to People
Somewhere between paying bills and back pain, hanging out with people became optional. Welcome to the Salty Grit way of life.
Boo, Bitch: The Only Halloween Survival Guide You Need
Halloween isn’t just for kids hopped up on sugar and bad decisions in plastic costumes. It’s also for the rest of us, aka the adults who can’t decide if we’re...
The Mom Survival Guide: How Not to Lose Your Shit Before Lunch
Let’s give moms the credit they deserve. It takes Olympic-level grit to make it through a single day without saying WTF 100 times or considering tequila in your coffee. Between...
